When you're about to be a mom for the very 1st time, everyone has advice for you. From how long to hold them to what kind of diapers to use. After I had Bushai, in the summer of '98, I remember hearing often about how fast time flies and to enjoy every moment because you won't get them back.
I always graciously responded with "thank you, i'm sure it does" etc. You think you know. You think you have an inkling of an idea of what it will be like. Well... you don't. You really freakin' don't. I was 26 when I had Bushai. I was married to his dad, but already feeling suffocated and wanted out. I didn't get out. I knew when this beautiful boy came into the world that I had to make my marriage work, for his sake. Being a new mom, as most of you may know is such a mixed bag of blessings and challenges. Bushai was a fairly easy baby, not super needy, no colic, slept well. I have always been a total "granola mom", ya know, I home birthed, we co-slept, I used cloth diapers, I nursed for an extended period.... I felt like these were all good ways to give my children a healthy start. When Ronin came, 2 1/2 years later, I did all the same things. The new challenge? 2 babies under 3! I was lucky enough t not have to work full time. Their dad was a wild land fire fighter and when it was fire season, it paid really well. He was gone most of the time, but, honestly, our marriage was so rocky, I really appreciated the time without him. I know, it sounds bad, he worked, there was $ in the bank, and I got time to myself, with my kids. I admit it, it was selfish, but, it seemed to work. I do believe that having josh gone for those extended periods kept us together as long as we were.
Anyway, allow me to digress...
My children are now 6, 14 and 16. Actually, Bushai, that sweet little 1st baby of mine will be 17 next Tuesday. Does the time go by fast? Holy hell, YES! Of course, one doesn't realize it when you're in it, one simply lives. I was always a very hands on mom. We did art projects, I took them to all of the fun, kid and family events I could, we went to the park regularly, we had playgroups, I always did these elaborate, themed birthday parties, etc. I hope that they have as many good memories of their childhood as I do. I have boxes full of pictures that I know I need to get into albums someday.
So here we are, the end of summer, the beginning of the school year.
Ronin started 9th grade on Monday. She is going to Media Arts Charter School. It's near her dad's house, and the focus is art, and especially, art focused in the film industry, which has really blown up here in NM. She has her sites set on becoming a surgeon, and I am going to encourage whatever it is she wants to do, of course, but the staff and the classes at this school seem really AMAZING! I have a feeling she may actually find her niche. Her grades are fantastic, so she was placed in all honors classes, but I believe in her!
Today was Jasper's 1st day of 1st grade! My little, bitty boy is a big 1st grader now! I feel like I was just pregnant with him. Now THAT is a crazy thing to reflect on. I feel like I have lived several lifetimes in the past 7 years. I had a baby, got divorced, moved...and everything that has taken place in between. In so many ways, he's my little baby. He always will be. He's still such a precious young thing, ya know.. 1st grade! But, at the same time, ha's so mature. He's been through a lot, and it shows in his eyes. Sometimes he can be such a serious kid, but, he's also so sweet and so smart! I love that he's still little enough to want to cuddle with mama. We like to lay in bed and watch movies on the laptop, or read books. I know he's going to love 1st grade.
My Bushai, who is just over 6 feet tall, is entering his senior year of high school this year. I think that one, more than the others makes me want to cry the most. When I was pregnant with him, 17 years ago, I had no idea what I was in for. This boy has been my best buddy, and yet, made me cry the most. He sees the world a lot like I do, which always makes for an interesting relationship. When he was little, he was always the boy with a big posse of friends. He grew up with this group of boys in Prescott, that were always getting into trouble together. Not like big time trouble, but, usual, normal, "little boy" trouble. Exploring and digging and climbing things. Since he's a summer baby, we would always put a tent out for his birthday parties, and let him have friends over for a camp out. We lived on a large piece of land, so they would run round til dark and then we'd have pizza waiting and would string a cord from the house and let them watch movies or play video games on the tv/dvd player one of the families would let their son bring. It was great fun and I have very fond memories of it. I miss those days of a bunch of little boys running around, in and out of my house, being loud and crazy. I didn't realize at the time, when it was driving me a little nuts how precious it was. All of those boys are now about to be done with high school.
Does it go fast? It flies by in a FLASH!
Bottom line here...
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT!!! You need to just be present for every little thing! Stop what you are doing and make a memory! You really do not get any of that time back. Just love them up and let them know how amazing they are!
Here are pics of Ronin and Jasper on their 1st days of school this week. Bushai starts in a few weeks.
