Reflecting on the Tender Years

As another school year comes to a close, I want to take a moment and reflect on the upcoming 8th grade graduation of my middle child.  When parents say that they've watched their child struggle in school, or perhaps have a hard time fitting in with the other children, I can attest 1st hand that it's heartbreaking. 
As most of you know, my darling 14 year old, is a trans girl.  But, allow me to digress....
As a young child, she was all about mama.  I could rarely even take a potty break with out her crying at the door for me.  Her older brother was already out having playdates and enjoying 2nd grade, when our family pediatrician recommended a special preschool for my 4 year old.  You see, Ronin didn't speak very well.  She had a sort of made up language that we called her "faery language".  Bushai was the only one who could always understand her.  So, I registered this child at a preschool for children with special needs.  My poor baby would cry, and I mean, CRY, every single time I dropped her off.  Luckily, the teacher's assistant, Lisa, befriended Ronin, and create diversions to allow me to leave.  In this school, speech therapy was made a priority for Ronin. She did well, but the road would be long... 
Next, we have Kindergarten.  Of course, we had Ronin going to the same school as her big brother, which was a Waldorf inspired charter school.  A Waldorf kindergarten is about the most precious and adorable place for a young child, and Miss Terese, the teacher, loved each of her children as if they were her own.  Ronin and I had to form a routine around drop off that made this sensitive child feel safe and know that i'd be back.  She continued to have to take speech therapy through the school. The teacher had a soft spot for my baby, as it seems to be her specialty every year since... "Teacher's Pet". 
In the friend department, Ronin pretty much just hung out with Bushai and his friends, remember, during these days, Ronin was living as a little boy, because that's all we knew about her gender at that time.  However, looking back now, Ronin was always sort of androgynous, ya know? Like, a very gender fluid child.  Luckily, as the "hippy mom" I've always been, I never put any thought into it, because I didn't ever agree with ideas behind "gender norms" with young children anyway.  Boys COULD and SHOULD play with dolls, girls SHOULD and COULD play with trucks! Simple as that.
Ronin's one, constant friend even at this tender age was the beautiful, brown eyed daughter of a family we had befriended.  The dad was a firefighter alongside my kid's dad, and the mom, a wonderful woman with similar ideas about conscious parenting.  So, we would get the kids together often. This friendship would continue until at least somewhere during middle school.
So, in 1st grade, we had moved the kids to another charter school.  This one had it's emphasis on a more "Expeditionary" based education.  They went on many amazing field trips and were allowed to learn in a way that coincided with how each child was able to process the information.
Ronin continued in speech therapy classes, and had begun to take Title One special reading classes because she was just not catching on.  This continued through out the elementary grades.  Like I said before though, something about my beautiful child had her the constant teacher's pet. So much so, that she and the Title One teacher, Sarah became very close, and during her father's and my divorce, this wonderful woman became a confidant to Ronin. 
By this time, Ronin had created a few close friendships with a few girls from class and had playdates once in a while.  Continuing in the idea of gender neutral, or androgynousness, on her soccer team, or the wrestling team we had the kids on, this kid would kick butt and take names, she would beat all of Bushai and his buddies at their video games, and then would sit and chat lovingly with her stuffed animals.  My best friend, a very magical being herself, once said that Ronin is full of LOVE medicine to give the world.
So it all went up until maybe grade 5 or 6... she was finally able to end speech therapy as well as the reading program.  Her teachers always loved her cherished her as a good student.  Grades were average, good at some subjects, needed help in others.
Just before her 10th birthday, Ronin came out.  It all happened a bit by accident, but, that story is for another time.
Beginning that year, I sent her to an amazing camp held in the mountains near our hometown.  OUTdoor Gay Camp for Kids.  The brain child of an extraordinary woman, who had gone to college in our town.  This opened so many doors for my girl.
I feel as though i'm getting off the main subject here, since I wanted to talk about her school career.  The other stuff I will gladly blog about later.
So, having been at the same charter school since 1st grade, she was really just treated the very same way she always had been.  As she decided in 7th grade that it was time to begin to transition, the school continued it's support.  The teachers began to used female pronouns and allow her access to whatever restroom she felt comfortable going into.  She had developed very close friendships with several of the other middle school girls and her best friend from childhood was now at this school with her.  All of the parents of these girls were so open and comfortable with allowing Ronin to participate in all girl sleep overs and nobody blinked an eye over it. Ya, she's been lucky.
Most of these girls were a year ahead of her in school and graduated 8th grade last year, leaving her with one more year there before high school.  This is what I had mentioned earlier about her friendship with the one girl last until this point.  After those girls all went into high school, we sort of stopped hearing from them.  Something else was happening, of course, they were all developing boobs and getting their 1st kisses... Ronin was beginning to start puberty in this boy's body that was given to her.  Her 1st kiss from a boy?  Well.... that chapter has yet to be written.
During this past holiday season, Ronin moved to Albuquerque to live her dad.  She knew I was going to make my way here shortly after, and wanted to start the semester at her new school.
Well.... here we are, on the eve of her 8th grade graduation. 
This semester marked her 1st time in a public school, let alone a new kid in a new town.  As has been the norm, her teachers fall in love with her sweet personality and she is the teacher's pet in many of her classes.
What I am most proud of though, is that she's doing an amazing job on her grades!  Her report card from her 1st semester there was all As! Actually, 5 A+s and an A.  The school administration of course, knows about her gender, but, she has chosen to remain "under the radar" so to speak with the school kids. 
So, this child of mine, my sweet, wonderful, caring, "mama's girl" has come SO far!  From barely speaking and having to take special classes, in spite of her struggles through gender dysphoria, my girl is going to wear a pretty dress and these cute, 4 inch wedge sandals she picked out and is leaving one chapter behind as she graduated from the 8th grade with honors. 
I for one, couldn't be prouder. 
Cheers my darling girl! May the road continue to be smooth and may all the right doors open for you on your journey! High school is going to be such a wonderful adventure!