Be Fearless

 

BE FEARLESS

 

That is what came into my mind yesterday.  It almost completely came over me.  I was at work, wrapping a gift, and I simultaneously heard these words spoken to me as I saw them in my mind. 

Knowing that I seem to have to be continuously keeping my defenses up when it comes to dealing with my children's father.  I am so very tired of fighting.  Hell, I was tired of fighting 16 years ago, but, I chose this man to marry and have children with and through good and bad, stuck it out... over and over it seemed, I continued to "stick it out".  It doesn't sound like any way to conduct oneself and be happy, does it?  Well, it's not.

I recall having conversations with friends way back when my oldest son, who is now 16 was just a baby.  Before he was a year old, I was looking for a way out of an unhappy situation.  My friends during that time of my life also recall those days. 

I'm  a stubborn girl, and just wanted it to work.  I was 23 when we got married, which, by the way, we rushed into. 

Those days are a bit of a blur.  We were young, it was the 90s and we were stoned.... ALL THE TIME!

I loved him, I think.  I had had a few relationships previously, and I remember be really in love with at least one guy.  I don't recall ever feeling that sort of fire and passion for my ex, but, there was comfort.  A friendship.  A longing to just have someone in my life.

He must have presented what I needed at that time.  We used to go for long hikes in the woods and stay up all night smoking pot and discussing the universe and philosophy.

But we fought, oh...how we fought.  Even back then.

Something that occurred to me after I had my first baby, and was upset because my ex didn't feel the need to celebrate my first Mother's Day, was that he didn't cherish me.  I was just this woman he married, had a son with and lived with.  He didn't have the first clue as to what it meant to really love a woman, to honor her, to lift her up, he didn't understand my essence, nor did choose to try.

I could go on and on....but right now, I'm dealing with the present.  With his inability to want to work with me when it comes to our children. 

Next week is Christmas and he has all 3 kids in Albuquerque.  Ronin went out 2 weeks ago when her grandpa had a stroke.  So, I made plans to be out there for the week of Christmas.  I text him, and he informs me that it's actually HIS week.  That I can have the kids on Christmas day, but, that they have things going on all week and plans with friends on Christmas Eve.  WHAT???  i'm driving out and I can't have them until Christmas Day?  I would normally be completely livid, but...I have had to deal with this sort of garbage so many times, I just took a deep breath and decided to make it work.  To be grateful for Christmas day, and allow that gratitude to flow.  I should have them all next week, but unfortunately, I work every day and will be packing up my house to move, so, I am letting them stay in NM, instead of bringing them into a disaster house.  Maybe that's the wrong decision, but, i'll get them for Spring Break, and plan to do something really fun~
These little scenarios are tiresome.  I have had to deal with so many, it's hard to count.  My ex husband, the father of my 3 children has such little respect or even care for me or my feelings.  Whether he wants to believe it or not, his actions have an affect on the kids.  They may not say anything now, but, time will allow them to be bold and express their distaste for the things he does.
BE FEARLESS
My new mantra
BE BOLD
Another good one
BE PATIENT
The story of my life
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Yes....
It shall~
BE GRATEFUL
~ALWAYS~

 

 



A Guide to Natural Housekeeping (Book Review)

I have to admit, I am somewhat addicted to this book right now.  I have gone through phases in my adult life where I have been really into making salves and tinctures and other herbal goodies.  I used to make all of my older children's baby products as well as give them as gifts.  I take so much pleasure in being a kitchen herbalist, it makes me happy.  So when I found this book, I was salivating.  There are recipes and ideas for everything from lemons dust cloths to composting and gardening to herbal beauty products.

Being someone who is very "earthy" and tries to be as "green" as possible, I always appreciate new and innovative ideas for ways to eliminate my own carbon foot print. 

Re-using jars and bottles for storage, and recycling items around the house to use in new ways is a passion of mine, so, to me, a book like this can quickly and easily become my household bible.

The author, Christina Strutt is the owner of an English fabric company called Cabbages and Roses, and her other books include Home-made Vintage and Vintage Crafts

I can't wait to make more lovely, earth friendly products from this book!!!

Saint James Infirmary - Tumbledown House

This is my very FAVORITE Tumbledown tune~ It's a VERY old, song from good old New Orleans~*~

Brothers McGhee - Tumbledown House

Here's Tumbledown House at The Raven café in Prescott a few years ago~

Tumbledown House interview

 

 

Every once in a while, we get to experience a legend in the making.  When it comes to the duo, Tumbledown House, I'd say it's like being in the presence of two upcoming legends, two musicians who are amazing entertainers and time travelers. Two people who span the ages with their music and take us on a journey back to a day most of us have never been.  A time our grand parents and maybe their parents might remember. 

Their sweet and soulful sound makes me imagine a sweaty, sexy speakeasy or jukejoint in 1930s New Orleans~

The last time these folks visited Prescott, where they actually called home for a short time, I had the honor to see them play twice, and did a little question/answer session with them.

Here's what they had to say:

 

 

HTC: How long have each of you been involved in music, i.e. playing or singing?

 

Gillian: I took piano lessons in the 6th grade and kind of hated it except for the fact that Mrs. Gee made killer lemon bars.  But then I took to playing guitar in 8th grade and started writing hilariously terrible songs.  I love singing and writing from then on.  But I didn't perform in front of anybody until I was about 20 years old.  It went terribly.  It took me a very long time to get comfortable on stage.  Meeting Tyler and having a partner up there changed everything.

 

Tyler: I started playing guitar when I was 8 years old.  I found a beat up acoustic guitar that smelled like cat pee in my mom's closet and was totally hooked. 

 

 

HTC: Name one song that reminds you of childhood:

 

Gillian: "Here Comes the Sun".  My dad told me when I was young that it was his favorite song and he doesn't often take to too many tunes, so it always makes me think of him.  I remember exactly where we were when said it.  I don't know why it struck me and stayed with me. 

 

Tyler: "Sweet Child O'Mine" by Guns and Roses always takes me back.  MTV was pretty new when I  was a kid and was pretty influential to me because back then, they actually played music videos. 

 

HTC: Which old song would you each like to cover but haven't yet?

 

Gillian: We just heard Mel Torme's Blue Moon and both fell for it.  He does another one I love, but I can't remember the name.  I'll have to get his record and search it our.  I also love Nina Simone's "My Baby Just Cares for Me"

 

Tyler: I've been working on a version of Sidney Bechet's "Viper Mad" but I don't think it's ready yet. 

 

 

HTC: If you could spend one day chatting with an entertainer, singer, musician from the past, who would it be and why?  What would you talk about? 

 

Gillian: Josephine Baker.  She's my biggest inspiration.  I think I share zero personality traits with that fearless womean, but I put her on the tallest pedestal.  I've watched documentaries on her so I know a lot about her life, (including the fact that when walked the boulevards betweend her shows with her pet cheeta, the Parisians would joke that they never knew which end of the leash held the wild animal--I man, to be famous for wearing nothing but bananas around your waist?  That gal must've had some crazy stories!!!) so, I would just ask her terribly personal questions that the documentaries didn't cover. 

 

(Gillian, I'm right there with ya!  I LOVE her, I adore her wild heart!!! She inspires my soul!)

 

Tyler: I think that, if I could talk to any musician from the past, I'd like to sit down with Jimi Hendrix.  He had a way of effortlessly channeling awesomeness when he was improvising.  Everything flowed and there  and there was never any fear or hesitation.  I guess I'd ask him about that, and how fame affected his artistic vision.

 

HTC: 1st 5 songs on your Ipod right now, or at least, top 5 songs you have been listening to currently.

 

Gillian: I'll just name some artist that rev my jets lately.  Their voices and production really do it for me.  In no particular order:

Laura Mvula, Tune-yeard, Sylvan Esso, Cecile McLorin Salvant, PHOX, Emily King, Sally Shapiro, Polica, Kimbra, Lucius, Y La Bamba, Hurray for the Riffraff....so many talented ladied to choose from!!!

 

Tyler: Dramaphone by Caravan Palace

       Coffee by Sylvan Esso

       Operation Costs by Lusine

       I didn't know what time it was by    Cecile McLauren

       Salvant Chum by Earl Sweatshirt

 

 

Thanks for answering my questions guys! Hope to see your beautiful faces and listen to your delicious music live again soon!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

Ya know, there are those times in life when every person should be made to feel like a rockstar.  Yesterday, I definitely felt that way.  I'm having to move back to Albuquerque again due to unfortunate ruling of the judge last summer in regards to my custody case against my ex husband for our 5 year old, Jasper. 

Being a gal who supports herself on a small income, moving expenses can be a little "hairy scary" to come up with.  Especially moving state to state.  This entire ordeal has been such a drain on me, emotionally, physically and monetarily, as one could imagine.

My darling friend Becky, however put together an amazing event yesterday to help me get a heads up on what sort of costs are to come.  She hosted it at a place here in Prescott called Granite Mountain Brewery.  They brew some of Prescott's finest ales and porters.

So, we decided that it would be a fun way to make some cash by doing a raffle.  I asked around to a lot of folks I know in town and around to donate items and the response was unbelievable! I was able to make 5 of the coolest gift baskets anyone could have asked for! They were packed full of art, jewelry, gift certs for restaurant's, massages, bike tune ups, etc.  I decorated the baskets with fun glittery embellishments and the event goers were crazy for them! 

I was able to gather a fine assortment of local musicians for this fun event as well and I am SO delighted and flattered with everyone who showed up! We started the day with my friend Sky, who sings a little rockabilly, and little old school country and a variety of his own, fun and danceable tunes.  a couple of which I was actually the muse for!

Then, my dear friends Meg and Jonathan played their eclectic and super fun songs for us on their ukulele s and Meg's accordion~ Miss Kay Pifer joined in for a few on her fiddle.  These folks did some sing a longs and a few fun filled versions of some old tunes~

 

Next, the one and only Don Cheek performed.  He's a town celeb, and plays with his band The Cheektones around town almost every weekend, as well as lovely duets with his wife on occasion.  He belted out a few covers and a few of his originals and reminded us that The Cheektones CD is due out soon.

 

AFter that, my very own sweet fella Sandy entertained us with is beautiful stylings and sounds on his guitar.  I even got to join him for a song we'd been working on together! Such fun!

 

Let's see...

Okay, then, 3 amazing women came on and started out with one of my favourite tunes from "Oh Brother, Where Art Though".  They all played guitar and harmonized.  Becky, my wonderful friend who put on the event, Ember, a local I've known around town for many years and Rosemary, a lovely woman I've only ever ordered wine from at The Raven, but now know her in a very different light.  They sounded amazing!  Then Ember and her sweet voiced solo'd.  She sang one of my favourite Joni Mitchell songs too!

Finally, local band Salt of the Earth came on. Leas singer Susan is a local mother I've know for years and she belted out both originals and covers with her band backing her up. 

The amazing Becky Dalke, who put on the event was going to close the show, but she had a yucky bug of some sort that was making her feel pretty rotten.  She did honor us with one song, but, it was about all she had in her.  The fact that she made it through the day and put this event together for me has me feeling grateful beyond words.  I am feeling so blessed and honoured for all that I have and for the love of one fantastic community!!!
 

Muchos Gracias Prescott!!!!

Bad Ass Women! Hell Ya!!!

While scrolling down my Facebook feed today, I cam across an article from Elephant magazine, which I love and read pretty much everyday.  The title was "This is for Women who don't give a F*CK"~

Well, ofcourse I HAD to read it. The 1st 3 things on the list resonated with me:



*The women who are first to get naked, howl at the moon and jump into the sea.
*The women who drink too much whisky, stay up too late and have sex like they mean it.
*The women who know they aren’t sluts because they enjoy sex, but human beings with a healthy    sexual appetite

So, I read on....

*The women who will ask you for what they need in bed.
*This is for the women who seek relentless joy; the ones who know how to laugh with their whole souls.
*The women who speak to strangers because they have no fear in their hearts.

What??? Do they know me???

A few more down.... hmmm, yes, no... OH, HELL YA!

 



*This is for the women who rock combat boots with frilly skirts.

The list was beautiful and although maybe not everything on it were things I do or can agree with, for the most part, I consider myself a "true wild woman", a "woman who runs with wolves" (these are literary references, so those of you who get it, HUZZAH!)

To see if anything on the list applies to you, read it here: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/08/this-is-for-the-women-who-dont-give-a-fck-adult/

 

Then, I went back to Facebook and this, THIS was the next thing I see:

 

http://news.distractify.com/people/powerful-photos-of-women/?v=1

 

***52 Powerful Photos Of Women Who Changed History Forever***

Margaret Bourke-White ( I did a paper on her in a photography class a few years ago, her story is AMAZING!)

 

WOW!!!!! WOW!WOW!WOW!

These images gave this girl serious chills, and even created misty eyeballs, no joke~

Jeanne Manford marches with her gay son during a Pride Parade. [1972]

 

I mean, if we're gonna talk about true WILD WOMEN, those women who clearly DO! NOT! GIVE! A! FUCKITY-FUCK-FUCK! and did it anyway...

Here's to you babe!

The following are just a sample of the amazing images of these VERY SPIRITED, LIVELY and AMAZING women, who, well, without them, where would the world be???

Members of the Hell's Angels gang. [1973]

A Swedish woman hitting a neo-Nazi protester with her handbag. The woman was reportedly a concentration camp survivor. [1985]

Maud Wagner, the first well know female tattooist in the United States. [1907]

So, seriously, head over there via the link above and check it out, I dare you!

 



Swimming in the Deep End

I wonder sometimes how others deal with pain, with grief.  I know people who have had horrible tragedies handed to them, yet, whether they want to or not, they somehow find it in them to survive.  I have not had a tragedy quite so destructive, but, i have had a pretty severe "kick in the balls" and for the first time in my usually sweet and charmed life, this happy go lucky girl is having a difficult time just getting through. Sometimes it feels like i'm living in a choke hold, gasping for breath, wondering if i should tap out or keep fighting.  The intensity is only deepened by the sights and sounds of giggling children and happy families.
I have tried several times in the past 2 months to blog about how i was feeling, and what was going on in my battle for Jasper, but, every time i tried, i was overwhelmed and all of my thoughts swirled around and around in my head like a hurricane, with no beginning and no end.  To figure out a way to collect them and express them in any sort of eloquent manner was un-excusably and undeniably too difficult of a task to undertake, so, i would log off and walk away from the computer.

When i received the letter from the courts telling me that my ex had been awarded custody, i felt like my whole world was crumbling down around me.  I felt shattered and broken.  I was reading the letter in the truck of the man i had been seeing for the past year and he watched in awe as i broke down shaking and crying.  He had been in my life long enough to watch this complete madness unfold around our relationship and held space for me the best he could during my moments of crazy.  He took me home and sat with me as i lay on my bed crying and scratching at my skin because it didn't feel real.
In the weeks that have followed, i have been in a state of loose cannon type emotions, having to leave work early, or duck out of a grocery store because some cute little boy was standing in front of me, reminding me that mine is a 6 hour drive away.  He's alive and well, and for that i'm happy, it's not like i lost him tragically and will never see him again, but, knowing that he's being raised in another town, that his father, who i obviously do not get along with, is the one putting him to bed at night, helping him with school projects....not only that, but another woman, my ex husbands much younger, pregnant girlfriend is surrogate mom. 
NO! okay? NO!
i'm angry, i'm hurt, i'm exhausted from over use of my tear ducts and i'm FED UP!
In the coming days, as often as i can, a regular account of my return to the land of the living and what i plan on doing next will be available to follow~
For now....
i wake up, i get up, i enjoy the gifts surrounding me and i breath~

The Hotel Blue - Hotel Review

Located at the West end of Albuquerque's downtown district, The Hotel Blue is a great place to stay for those who want to be near to nightlife, restaurants, Old Town, The Bio Park and more.
I stayed here recently while in town to see family.  I usually stay with my mom, but she's a little far from everything, plus, well, this place has a pool and it's summertime, enough said.
The decor is a little Art Deco meets 1970s chic, with beautiful black and white checker'd floors and nice, not so bright lighting. I pulled up in front and walked in to the lobby to check in and was greeted by a friendly young lady, who was helpful and sweet. The parking lot is fenced and one can only enter it with the room key, so it felt safe and secure.
My room, on the 5th floor was clean and well taken care of.  I had an eastern view, which faced the pool, as well as downtown Albuquerque, so that was nice.

I spent the afternoons in the pool with my children, and we really enjoyed our time there.  The pool was clean, and did not seem so overly chlorinated that you felt like your skin was falling off when you got out. The pool was surrounded by chairs, tables and lounge chairs, and when we needed extra towels, the front desk staff was happy to oblige.

The Hotel Blues offer a complimentary breakfast from 6 to 10 and is full of everything from instant oatmeal, to mini muffins, to scrambled eggs, potatoes and bacon.  They serve Starbucks coffee, and everything seemed clean and well stocked.  If i might make any suggestions, it would be to maybe have a few fixings for the eggs and potatoes, like grated cheese and salsa or chives.  I would also suggest a few more healthy options, like perhaps fruit and yogurt. 

Rooms run from about $69-$129, and i was able to get a good deal on one of those discount travel sites.

A little history: 

Opened as Downtowner Motor Inn in June 6, 1965, this hotel has gone through several name changes; the current name "The Hotel Blue" was given to it in late 1990s when it was renovated to a chick boutique in an Art Deco theme. Downtowner Inn, Quality Inn, Ramada Inn-Downtown, Downtown Inn, Quality Inn - Central, Quality Inn - Downtown, Ramada Inn-Downtown are the names give to the hotel before the current name " The Hotel Blue".
The current ownership renovated all the rooms in 2007 & 2008 and continuously improving the amenities and services keeping our guests in mind. The projects in near future are complete makeover of the exterior and the public areas.

***I would give The Hotel Blue 3 1/2 Stars in a 5 star rating.

And yes, i would stay there again.

One last thing:

Albuquerque is known for hot air balloons.  It's the home of the International Balloon Fiesta, which, if you have never seen, absolutely must at least once in your life, but, on any given morning, there are at least 2 to 3 balloons in the air.  It's really very beautiful and peaceful. 

This was the view outside of my room on my last morning there~

Stunning! 

Beyond Magenta: Transgender teens speak out
by Susan Kuklin

For those of you just coming on board, i am the parent or a trans gender child.  My middle child, Ronin was born with boy parts, but, quite honestly, anyone who has watched this child grow up would tell you how magical and androgynous she has always been.  I won't go into our whole story right now, but what i WILL do is direct your attention to a book that i bought for her last spring that quite possibly helped her to release a bit of fear and anxiety about her life and her struggles.  

Award winning author and photographer Susan Kuklin interviewed and photographed 4 separate young transgender adults and has compiled their stories and images in this hard cover "coffee table" type book.  These 4 people tell their stories, talk about love, hard ache and everything in between.  In the times we're living where our children now have role models like Laverne Cox and Janet Mock gracing the covers of magazines, and telling their stories, let's not forget to give a voice to those young folks who are still maneuvering the dark waters of what it means to be transgender in the world today.

Here are the links to parts I & II of Kuklin's interviews on Pirate Tree and her website.

http://www.thepiratetree.com/2014/03/13/beyond-magenta-an-interview-with-susan-kuklin-part-i/

http://www.thepiratetree.com/2014/03/20/beyond-magenta-an-interview-with-susan-kuklin-part-ii/

http://www.susankuklin.net/

The Painted Girls (Book Review)

The Painted Girls
by Cathy Marie Buchanan

"A historical fiction based on a sculpture by Degas, this story was captivating in its ability to encapsulate the world of three lowly, underprivileged sisters in1880's Paris. As soon as I was introduced to Antoinette and Maire, a beautiful picture was already painted in my mind of the girls in their laced up ballerina slippers and tattered practice skirts. The coming of age, the sisterly love, the loss of innocence and the idea of a better life, kept me up nights wanting to know more and read on. Buchanan pulls together reality and imagination and weaves a tale of a tie past in a way that made me feel like I was walking the streets of Montmartre with every page."

Modern Vintage Style: Book Review

Yet another "coffee table book" that i couldn't stop looking at.  Emily Chambers, an interior stylist and owner of London's hip home boutique, Caravan has compiled a lively and colorful array of pictures and ideas for design and hone decor using vintage and thrifted pieces.  Being one of those girls who has pieced my own house together using hand me downs, thrift store and yard sale finds, and a little bit of this and a little bit of that, i loved every page of this book.  I'm super inspired after an afternoon of looking at it a few times over, to hit a few thrift stores after work today and treasure hunt for a few new pieces to ad to my own eclectic decor!
I decided to look her up and found the most wonderful website! http://www.emilychalmers.com/book_modern_vintage.html
You can purchase this book as well as her other style and decor books, there is a page with images of her style work and then there is a link to her shop, Caravan.  LOVE! This Hippy/Gypsy/Boho/vintage chic loving girl is her new biggest fan! I have been thinking about a trip to London this year...i'm going to make Caravan my 1st stop!

Never Stop to Think...Do I Have a Place for This? (book review)

I ADORE a beautifully illustrated design book.  This lovely little number had me salivating!  Being an artist and a lover of all things vintage, i can appreciate a good collection.  i'm not talking anything on the scale of "Hoarders," no, just a well thought out, perfectly displayed, fabulously pieced together collection of items.  If one has never "collected" anything, or fallen in love with idea of how pretty vintage lace might look on

one's wall next to a 1920's sepia toned, erotic print. Or, how you want to have a pitcher in every color that Fiesta ware once made, well, then i can't imagine that this sort of thing would even remotely resonate. For those of us however who can relate, i promise that this is a book that will not easily disappoint. I know i want to look at it over and over, and every time i do, i find something new~

For more information about this author, or her projects and collections, head over to her website:

http://www.carterjunk.com/html/carter.phtml

OH, LA, how i love you....always have!

http://www.lamag.com/the80s/2014/07/16/the-mystique-of-melrose-avenue
Great page! I remember a few of these place, especially Aardvarks~*~ 
Probably the beginning of my vintage obsession~

Dancing to the Violin

There are those times when the pain of what's going on around just sort of hits like a ton of bricks.  You're just going along with your day, easy peasy, then KABLAM! Next thing i know, i'm sobbing like a baby, i'm an uncontrollable pile of mush! I started this blog originally because i enjoy writing and sharing.  I have a rather large following on facebook, but it isn't necessarily the place to share more than snippets and tidbits of things, like quotes or pictures.  I wanted to write things about fun adventures that my kids and i have together, share about the life and times of raising a transgender teen, maybe throw in a book review or chat about a good/bad restaurant experience.  I have not posted anything since the custody trial last month.  Yes, it's been ONE MONTH since we went in front of the Judge,and STILL, no answer yet as to the primary residence of my baby boy, Jasper. I truly do not understand what could be taking the Judge so long to decide.  I'm sure he has a lot on his plate, several cases to contend with, but why not come up with an answer within 48 hours? It's still fresh in the brain, the memory of everything that was said, how each party represented themselves is still vivid.  I feel as though my life is on hold.  I'm waiting, everyday...waiting.  I was alone from 6/3 until 7/13.  As per our "parenting plan" for Bushai and Ronin, I get all of the kids in May, and Josh in July.  I wold have gotten Ronin back earlier in July, but, i had asked that she stay until the 7th because due to a festival i'm involved in, i know that 4th of July weekend would be really hectic and i'd barely be home. I was then asked if Ronin could stay an extra week.  This came as a surprise since she and her father have a somewhat volatile past, but, I figured if she was requesting it, and it made her happy, sure, why not.  On the evening of the 13th, the day before I was to get Ronin, I put in a request from Josh that I get some time with Jasper.  Not only was the answer no, but, he informed me that Jasper would be staying in Albuquerque with his grandpa for the day and I would not be seeing him.  The list goes on and on and I WILL be posting my side of the story piece by piece. 
For the past week, the  weight of it all has taken a toll and I have been moody, cranky and tired.  I'm down, depressed and utterly exhausted. Everybody has asked me about it, and although I appreciate the concern and love, I cannot seem to get a word out about it without turning into mush.  I have cried more in the past month than I can ever remember.  I cried when my marriage ended, but not over loosing Josh, I was sad that what I knew as my family unit was going to drastically change.  It was scary and exhilarating at the same time.  I was a wreck this past Monday when, the school that Jasper Is registered for Kindergarten at started.  Ronin goes there as well, and I couldn't even take her to school that day.  A friend gave her a ride.  I knew that watching all the little Kindy kids walking in on their 1st day would not be a good idea.  I did take Ronin the next day and I had to walk her in because she had a load of stuff for the field trip they were about to leave on.  I wasn't in the classroom for 5 minutes when the art teacher came in.  She hugged me and said, "i'll bet you're glad to have all the kids back, huh?"  I couldn't even answer her.  I teared up and walked outside.  I moved to Albuquerque last summer after Josh because I knew it was create a "shit show" if I didn't.  I love Albuquerque, I love NM, I really do, but, it just didn't seem to fit this time.  I was depressed, I missed my small town, I missed my friends, my community, my life here.  I know that THIS is the place for me to raise Jasper, I know it is.  I hope that the Judge sees that as well.  Until then....I continue to use creative visualization, ask my community for prayers and stay positive~

40 Black & White Photos That Cannot Be Explained

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/old-photos-that-need-more-information
As promised, I do love old pics and whenever i get a link to something like this on my facebook feed, i'm going to post it here as a little place to collect them all~
Eerie and surreal, these images range from the jaw dropping, "WHAT IN THE WORLD?" to "Are you kididng me?" types of reactions. 
I truly enjoyed every one of them, but here are a few of my faves.